Never Be Alone Read online

  Ryan returned a few minutes later carrying three sleeping bags with feathers trailing behind him from the jagged gashes in them. “This is all we have,” he said, pushing the bags toward the girls.

  “How much?” Joon asked.

  Mark looked down at the floor and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Look these are really good bags. They sell for one eighty a piece. But seeing as how they’re damaged, I can sell them to you for fifty bucks a bag.”

  Joon gasped and Lulu’s hand flew to her mouth. Joon rocked back and forth in place. “But they’re ripped, so we have to sew them, and, mister, we don’t have a hundred and fifty dollars. We don’t even have forty dollars. How about we make a deal? You give us everything for thirty bucks and we’ll clean the whole store for you?”

  Mark put his hand on Joon’s shoulder. “I wish I could do that, but I can’t.”

  Joon’s body curled forward and she swallowed several times. “Well, what can you do?”

  “Look, you seem like nice girls, and I can tell you really need this stuff. I’ll sell you the tent for fifteen and the bags for twenty-five each. That’s ninety total. It’s a great deal.”

  Joon turned and looked at Lulu and moaned. Then she turned back to the store manager.

  “Okay, but two things. We need you to tape the rips on the bags, and we need you to hold all of this stuff until later today ’cause we don’t have all the money. Deal?”

  “Wait,” Lulu said. “Where are we gonna get ninety bucks?”

  Joon avoided Lulu’s eyes. “We’ll get it.” She looked hard at the store manager. “Deal or what?”

  Mark, feeling helpless, nodded. “Yeah, we’re open until eight tonight. Just be back before then.”

  Outside on the sidewalk, Lulu spun on Joon. “There’s no way we can beg for that much money in one day. You have what? Thirty-five or thirty-six bucks in emergency cash left over. I have thirteen dollars. Even if we put it together, and we would be left with nothing, we would still need around forty more dollars.”

  Joon took Lulu’s hand. “We won’t spend our emergency money if I can help it.”

  Lulu pulled her hand away and looked at Joon curiously. “Fine. Then where are we getting ninety bucks? The money fairy?”

  Joon looked into Lulu’s eyes, hoping her friend would stop asking questions. Finally, she said, “I can earn the money.”

  “How?”

  Joon turned her head, looking away briefly.

  Lulu grabbed her by the shoulders. “No, no way. You aren’t doing that to yourself again. You can’t.”

  Joon steadied herself and returned her friend’s intense gaze. “Yes, I can. I did it for a long time and never saw a dime. I can do it again, and we can stay warm. What other option do we have? It’s not a big deal. This is called survival sex. Besides, I’ll only sell blow jobs and I won’t get into any cars. But you need to stay close, to make sure I’m safe. We’ll find a place where I can take them where no one will see me.”

  Lulu was crying. “You can’t do this. I can’t let you do this.”

  “You can’t stop me. So either help or go back to the house and I’ll see you later.”

  Resigned, Lulu wrapped her arms around Joon. “I won’t leave you alone.”

  Joon gave her a small smile. “Thank you. Now, let’s go.”

  Chapter Sixty-Two

  Lulu looked around the streets. “Where are we gonna go?”

  Joon looped her arm through Lulu’s. “When I worked in Kensington there was a girl who talked about how she hooked on Fifteenth Street, between Reed and Federal. We’re gonna go there and see what’s up.”

  Joon and Lulu walked the long distance to Fifteenth and Reed. Joon scanned the street, noticing two girls standing at the end of the block. “Come here,” Joon said, pulling Lulu into an open lot filled with trash and old appliances.

  She led Lulu behind a refrigerator without doors that blocked the sight line from the street. Joon took off several layers of clothing, ripped the T-shirt she wore at the neck to plunge below her breasts, and tied it at the waist to create a midriff. She slipped on her old corduroy bomber jacket, let her hair down, and fluffed it with her fingers.

  “Fuck me blue, it’s freezing,” Joon said.

  Lulu pulled off her gloves and gave them to Joon. Then she unwrapped her scarf and wrapped it around her friend, being careful not to cover the girl’s cleavage.

  “How do I look?” Joon asked.

  “Like a ho-bag,” Lulu teased.

  Joon giggled. “Yeah, it’s a skill. Transforming into a slut like Superman, except I hide behind an old refrigerator and I’m not a superhero.”

  “Anyone who is willing to do what you’re gonna do to keep the rest of us warm is a superhero in my mind,” Lulu said, pushing Joon’s hair behind her ears. “Now, what am I supposed to do?”

  “You’re gonna stay here in the lot. I’ll bring them behind the refrigerator. You sit over there and stay real still. If they see you, they’ll just think you’re a dope head anyway. But just in case, don’t say anything. I’ll bring them back here, do my thing, and they’ll be gone.”

  Lulu’s eyes clouded over. Her heart grew heavy and she clung to Joon’s arm. “I’m so sorry. Maybe there’s another way.”

  Joon shook her head, pointed to the other side of the lot, turned, and walked toward the street. On the sidewalk, she glanced down the block, and two black prostitutes were heading her way. They stood in front of her and immediately confronted Joon.

  “Whatcha think you’re doin’, whitey?”

  Joon ignored them.

  The girl talking stepped closer. “You dumb or somethin’? I ast you a motherfuckin’ question. See, this here is our street, so take your filthy skank ass somewhere else.”

  Joon took a deep breath and looked at the girl. “I’m not bothering you. So how about you fuck off?”

  The girl grinned. There were large gaps between her teeth, and it looked like she had tiny icicles dangling from her long gums. Her brow furrowed, and her nostrils flared. “I know you ain’t talkin’ to me.”

  Joon looked her up and down. “Yeah, I am. Just go back to your corner, and I’ll stay here.”

  “Girl, I don’t think ya know who you’re talking to. I’ll whoop your skinny ass up and down this street,” the hooker said, pushing Joon in the chest.

  Joon almost fell but caught herself. One thing she’d learned from Tori was to never let another hooker see your fear. Joon’s face was pinched and her hands clenched into tight fists. She stalked toward the other girl. “Here’s the thing,” Joon hissed, “I don’t want any trouble. I need some cash and I’ll be outta here. This shit here,” she continued, gesturing up and down the street, “this is fuckin’ child’s play. I worked Kensington, and if you fucked with another hooker there, you’d be fucking dead without a chance to walk away. So, like I said, walk away. Go back to your corner.”

  The girl let out a guttural, evil laugh. “What? You think ’cause you were whoring in Kensington that you some sorta expert? Bitch, let me tell ya somethin’. My pimp will skin your fuckin’ ass alive after I knock the shit outta ya and drag ya back by your hair to one of his whorehouses.”

  Joon clenched her teeth and screamed, “Then do it. Stop talking about it and try to kick my ass. You don’t own the fucking sidewalk.”

  As the two girls were ready to battle, each waiting for the other to make the first move, a man approached them. He looked the three over and focused on Joon. “How much?”

  “Fifteen bucks. I’m only doing bj’s today…too cold for anything else,” she added. Joon stared into his eyes, her lips pouty and playful.

  “Yeah, all right,” the john agreed.

  As the two walked away, the girl Joon had been fighting with yelled, “Oh, you a cheap fuckin’ whore too. Ya dirty, diseased bitch. Dude, ya better wear a condom with that piece of trash.”

  Ignoring the girl, Joon led the man back into the lot and positioned herself on the side of the refrige
rator, where there was privacy. From a distance, Lulu waited, thinking about what Joon was doing. Sadness filled Lulu, and tears rolled down her face. She had been through a lot as a homeless teen and realized even the worst thing that had happened to her could never be as dreadful as what Joon had been forced to do. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the refrigerator, anxiously waiting for Joon to emerge. She knew many girls who had prostituted, but she’d never actually been close to it before. Joon was motivated to help friends that she’d known for two days—Lulu was frightened by Joon’s casual willingness but also touched by her sacrifice.

  Eight hours later and five more men serviced, Joon and Lulu left the lot. As they stepped onto the sidewalk, Joon looked at the hookers who had tried to scare her away. She gave them a broad smile, flipped them a middle finger, and walked the long distance to the store to buy their treasures.

  Chapter Sixty-Three

  Joon and Lulu lugged the tent and sleeping bags back to the abandoned house, stopping to rest several times. When they entered the bedroom, Gia, Fipple, and the others looked at them with tentative smiles.

  “What’s that shit?” Fipple asked.

  Joon looked her over. “A tent and some sleeping bags.”

  Fipple sneered. “What are you stupid? You spent money on a tent for inside a house?”

  Joon spun on the girl. “Fipple, the way I figure it is, if we can stay close together and keep our body heat inside the tent, we will be able to sleep without freezing to death.”

  Gia chimed in, trying to defuse the tension between the girls. “Plus, we can store our stuff in there.”

  Lulu, appalled by Fipple’s words, put her hands on her hips. “Hey, Fipple? At least Joon had an idea. She not only got us the tent, but she bought three sleeping bags. You can at least say thank you.”

  Fipple threw her head back and laughed. “Thank you? I don’t think so. And where did you get the money to buy all this stuff?”

  Shit, Joon thought. I didn’t think about how I would explain that. She took a long, steady breath through her nose. “What does it matter how I got the money? If you don’t want to sleep in the tent, then you don’t have to. No one is going to force you, Fipple.”

  Fipple stepped closer to Joon. “You didn’t answer my question, Joon. How did you get the money?”

  The other girls, curious to hear Joon’s answer, stared.

  “I blew six guys,” Joon blurted.

  Gia gasped and clamped both hands over her mouth. The others looked on with their mouths hanging open, and Fipple gave the girls a wide grin. “I told you all she was trouble. So now we got us a whore that can bring her pimp around here looking for her. None of you believed me. Do you now?”

  Lulu moved closer to Joon. “Stop it, Fipple. Joon isn’t a danger to any of us. She doesn’t have a pimp, and no one is after her. Right, Joon?”

  “Yeah, that’s right,” Joon said, feeling uncomfortable with the lie.

  Eventually, Fipple swallowed her pride and followed along with the other girls, placing her things inside the tent. As the sun went down and the temperature plunged, Joon spread the three sleeping bags out over top of the clothes they had used as a layer of additional insulation on the floor of the tent.

  “Okay,” Joon said, standing outside the tent. “If we sleep two to a bag, we should be warm enough.”

  The six girls moved into the tent, and by the time they were situated, their six bodies took up every inch of space.

  “Wow, this is warmer,” Gia said, sharing her bag with Fipple, who huffed at the comment.

  The other girls mumbled their agreement with Gia.

  “See, Fipple? Joon isn’t so bad now, is she?” Lulu pressed.

  “Whatever. Fuck you, Lulu.”

  “Fuck you too. Sweet dreams,” Lulu said, nestling closer to Joon.

  That night, the group of girls slept together in a tight bundle. In the morning, Joon stretched her arms out to her sides and looked around the tent.

  Lulu was smiling at her friend. “I haven’t slept that good in weeks.”

  “Yeah, I think it worked great.” Joon pushed her hair away from her face. “Now all we have to do is find a place with lights and running water, and we’ll be living.”

  Lulu laughed and propped herself up on one elbow. “I’m sure if there’s a way, you’ll figure it out. I’m sticking with you.”

  “Good,” Joon said, crawling out of the tent. “Time to find food. I’m starved.”

  Chapter Sixty-Four

  Joon and Lulu left the house and walked the streets, stopping in front of a popular bakery. They sat on the ground and stared up at people as they came and went. Every time the door opened, Joon got a glorious whiff of the rich coffee aroma and the donuts, cakes, and bagels. She could practically taste the sugar on a glazed donut and the soft, airy center. She would have been happier to eat anything from the small café than receive money.

  As the girls sat shivering on the cold sidewalk begging for money, a woman approached the café. As she reached a gloved hand for the door of the café, she stopped short, turning and looking down at the girls. “Girls? How old are you?”

  Joon flushed in the bitter cold. “Sixteen.”

  The woman looked at Lulu. “I’m nineteen.”

  “I see. You’re both rather young. You have your whole lives ahead of you. I suggest you,” she said, pointing to Lulu, “get a job. You’re old enough. And you”—she looked at Joon—“Get yourself back in school. You’ll be stuck here forever without an education.”

  Joon’s jaw clenched tightly. “You know, lady, that all sounds real nice. If it were that easy, don’t you think we would be doing that?”

  The woman crossed her arms over her chest, and the corners of her mouth tugged downward in disapproval. “Well, maybe it isn’t easy, but here’s the thing—sitting here, waiting for someone to give you a handout will only get you a quick bite to eat. If you want to make a difference in your life or in the lives of others for that matter, it takes more than begging for leftover scraps and pocket change. Why don’t you go to a shelter or something? There are many places in the city that are willing to help people like you.”

  “People like us?” Joon asked.

  “Yes,” the woman said, lifting her head and looking down her nose at the girls. “People like you. Children that run away because they don’t want to clean their rooms or go to school or because…well, because you prefer to smoke pot and drink beer than apply yourself or live by your parents’ rules.”

  Joon huffed. “You know, lady, wearing fancy clothes and expensive jewelry doesn’t make you smarter or better than us. You have no idea how either of us got here.” She stood and faced the woman as her anger rose. “I’d rather live on the streets and beg for scraps of food and loose pocket change than be back with my foster mother who beat me, shamed me, burned me with cigarettes, made me eat from the dog bowl, and told me how worthless I was every day.”

  Joon took a deep breath of cold air, stinging her lungs as tears of anger and sadness slid down her cheeks in a steady stream. “Please, lady, go inside and get your expensive coffee and leave us alone.”

  The woman smirked at Joon. “This is exactly what I’m talking about. I don’t buy any of that story about your foster mother. I’m sure it’s one that a lot of you homeless kids use to get what you want from gullible people. And those fake tears of yours…all you kids are so good at turning on the waterworks, then saying the same thing to everyone you encounter: Do you have any money? I’m hungry. I’ll work for food, wah, wah, wah. You’re all lazy brats who want everyone else to take care of you. Go home to your mommy and daddy, little girl, and stop littering our streets with your filthy bodies.”

  The woman opened the door to the café and stepped inside. Joon watched until she was gone, turned, and sat on the cold pavement next to Lulu. “Wow, that was messed up,” Joon said. She paused for several seconds as she wiped her tears away. “I wish I did have a mom and dad to go home to.”
/>   “Hey, listen,” Lulu whispered. “You’re a good person. That lady knows nothing. I mean, most people think like she does, that we’re all out here because we’re uncontrollable teenagers. You need to let that shit roll off your back.”

  Joon rubbed her temples with her index fingers. “I know, but she’s right too. We’re never gonna be anything living like this. I just wanna do something good with my life. I wanna help other people, maybe even kids who got the same shit deal I got.”

  A few minutes later, a petite woman came out of the bakery wearing an apron and a hairnet. “One of our customers just complained about you sitting at the door. You need to move along.”

  Joon stared at the woman in defeat.

  “Look,” the lady said, handing Joon a bag, “take this. It’s two donuts and some hot tea. But you gotta move on. We have a business to run, and if we don’t keep our customers happy, we’ll be out of business.”

  Joon stood and took the bag. “Thanks for the food.”

  “You bet, hon. Take care of yourself.”

  Joon put her hand out and helped to pull Lulu up from the sidewalk. She smiled at Lulu. “Well, at least we have something to eat. We need to find a way to earn money. We can still beg, but maybe we can find someone who will give us real jobs. You know, so we can save money and maybe get a place to live.”

  The girls walked to a nearby park and sat on a bench in the sun. Joon grabbed the ends of her long hair and looked at them. Then her eyes moved down her own body. Her clothes were oversized and shabby, and she was now self-conscious that she was wearing a man’s flannel shirt and jacket.

  Lulu took a bite of her donut and sipped her tea. She smiled at her friend. Joon’s mouth was downturned and her eyes misty. When she realized Lulu was looking at her, she turned away quickly. Lulu stopped mid-chew. “What’s wrong? We have food and the sun is shining. Why do you look like you’re gonna cry?”