Never Be Alone Read online

  “Oh man, they’re the worst. Besides, I hate doing blow jobs.” Joon scrunched her nose and made a gagging motion. Then she dug in her purse and pulled out a stick of gum.

  “Don’t we all?” Tori said, taking the gum and shoving it in her mouth. “Anything happen while I was gone?”

  Joon rubbed her temples with her index fingers. “Yeah, as soon as you left, a guy collapsed on the street over there. He had some kinda seizure or something. It lasted for a minute or two, then he stopped moving. People are saying he overdosed. His heart stopped. The ambulance came, put him into a bag, and zipped it up. And I stood here and envied that dead guy; I wanted to be him because no matter how much pain he had in those last couple of minutes before death, he’s lucky because now all of his pain is gone. I just want my pain to be gone.

  Tori put her hands on her hips. “That’s so fucked.”

  “Yeah, the guy died in the filthy street with no one around him.”

  Tori waved her index finger back and forth at Joon. “I ain’t talking about the dead guy. I feel the same as you…that death is better than what we have going on. We ain’t living, that’s all I’m saying.”

  Chapter Fifty

  On February 3, Joon turned sixteen. She’d been in Kensington just over two years. She had spent her last birthday on the street, and Tori had bought her a cupcake to celebrate.

  Joon promised herself this birthday would be different. Her sixteenth year would mark a time when she would take back her freedom.

  “Happy birthday, girl!” Tori sang and leaned in for a hug.

  “Thanks. I wish I didn’t have to work tonight…or any night,” she added.

  “Yeah, well, today is your birthday, and I say you get to be happy at least one damn day outta the year.”

  Joon smiled at her. “As if that’s possible.”

  Tori put her arm around Joon’s shoulders. “I’m making it possible.”

  “Oh yeah? How? You gonna buy me another cupcake?” Joon teased.

  “Nah, nothing like that. Tonight, when we go out, I got us a bottle of Southern Comfort. I’ve been saving for it, just so we can celebrate.”

  Joon pinched her brow and made a gagging face. “You know I don’t drink. The only control I have left is over my mind. I don’t want to lose it.”

  Tori leaned her head on Joon’s shoulder. “You’re such a stiff. Lighten up. It’s one time.”

  “I don’t know, Tori. What if I do something stupid?”

  “You won’t. We’ll be together, and I won’t let anything happen to you,” Tori assured her.

  “And our johns?”

  Tori puckered her lips. “Those pricks wouldn’t care if we were dead as long as they can get a piece of ass.”

  Out on the streets that night, Tori took the bottle of booze out of her purse. Unscrewing the lid, she held it out to Joon. “Here’s to the best girl I know. Happy birthday.”

  Joon hesitantly took the bottle and raised it to her lips.

  “Wait! You gotta make a wish when you take the first swig.”

  Joon held the bottle and closed her eyes. Freedom…she raised the bottle to her lips and took a mouthful. The brown substance burned her throat. “Ew. That’s terrible.”

  “It won’t be terrible after a couple more sips,” Tori said, taking a big gulp of it.

  “That’s what Quinn said to me when I drank my first beer.”

  Tori took the bottle from Joon and raised it into the air. “Well, Quinn is a no-good motherfucker that has a small dick to match his small brain.”

  Four mouthfuls of Southern Comfort later, Joon was feeling no pain. The two girls were giddy and loud. Their behavior caught the other girls’ attention, but they didn’t care. After each went with a couple of johns, they were back on the sidewalk drinking more.

  “Okay, I can’t trink no more. I’m gonna get shick if I keep dis up,” Joon slurred.

  Tori laughed at her and took another hit from the bottle. The girls were staggering around, laughing and hugging each other.

  A meek voice carried through the cold night air. “Hey, guys.”

  Joon and Tori stopped laughing and looked over.

  Joon threw her hands into the air. “Oh my God! Elf! Where the hell ya been?”

  Elf pulled in air through her nose. “They moved me to a house in North Philly.” The girl had dark circles under her eyes and several scabs on her lips.

  Joon moved in closer to get a better look at her. “Hey,” she said, swaying. “Are you okay?”

  Elf’s eyes filled, and she lowered her head. “No. Things are really bad.” She shuffled her feet as she looked down the block, eyeing a commercial storefront. “They have me doing…movies.”

  Tori moved forward. “Porn?”

  “Yes,” Elf admitted.

  “Are you serious?” Joon asked.

  “Yeah. They bring guys into the house, and I have sex with them while they film us.” Elf hugged herself. “But the guys they bring in have to hurt me.”

  Joon’s heart was racing and the heavy dose of Elf’s reality was sobering, literally. She put her arms around Elf’s shoulders. “How do they hurt you?”

  Elf shook her head vigorously, as though she could fling the images from her mind.

  Joon rubbed her hand down the girl’s arm. “Tell us, Elf.”

  “They do all kinds of bad things. Tie me up. Beat me. Burn me with cigars. Give me sex with things that hurt, that are too big to go…in there.”

  Joon gasped. “Elf, I’m so sorry.” She looked at Tori. “We have to help her.”

  Tori nodded but didn’t speak.

  Elf looked down the block again. “I gotta get back. If Digger finds out that I left the car, he’ll kill me. I came down real quick ’cause I saw you guys.”

  Elf turned to leave, but Joon put her hand on the girl’s shoulder. When she turned around, Joon took her into a bear hug. “It’s gonna be okay, Elf. You’re gonna be fine. We all are.”

  Joon and Tori watched as Elf rushed back to the car and slid into the backseat.

  Joon turned to Tori. “We have to help her.”

  Her friend looked away. “There ain’t nothing we can do. We have to help ourselves before we can think about helping other people.”

  “But, Tori, they’re hurting her. They could kill her.”

  “I get that, Joon,” she snapped, then shook her head. “But what do you suggest we do? We don’t have the power to help. Don’t you get it?”

  Joon’s shoulders slumped. “Yeah, I get it. I just can’t live with it.”

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Tori took Joon’s arm and they sat on the curb. “Listen, I know what’s happening to Elf is really messed up, but you gotta be grateful it ain’t you. That’s some bad shit she’s got going on.”

  “I know what she’s going through though,” Joon said. Tori startled, so she continued. “I mean, not the sexual part, but I’ve been burned by cigarettes and beaten until I was senseless. I know what it’s like to be hungry and tired yet still have to endure more abuse. We can’t let Elf suffer like that.”

  “What about our suffering? Ain’t nobody helping us. We just need to deal with it,” Tori said.

  “It’s not the same. Being a hooker on the street is nothing compared to being held captive, beaten and sexually assaulted every day.”

  “Fine, so it really sucks for Elf. What the hell can we do, Joon?”

  Joon stood. “I don’t know. But we have to figure it out.”

  As the weeks passed, Joon couldn’t stop thinking about the horrible things she imagined were happening to Elf, but there were no opportunities to help, and it was only two months later that the girls in the house were buzzing. As soon as Joon came downstairs, she could see the stress on the girls’ faces.

  “What’s going on, Darlene?” she asked one of them.

  “We all heard that Pug is gonna move another girl to the house in North Philly.”

  Joon’s throat constricted. “The one where th
ey make pornos?”

  “Yeah.”

  Joon pulled in a long breath. “Who’s going?”

  Darlene twisted her hands together. “We don’t know yet. All we know is that they need a new girl.”

  Joon crossed her arms over her chest, trying to look casual. “What about the girls that are there now? Where will they go?”

  Darlene met Joon’s eyes and held them for several seconds. “You mean where will Elf go? Who told you she was there?”

  “Come on, Darlene. We all know. The girls talk.”

  “Look, I don’t know what’s gonna happen to Elf and the other girl. They only take one or two girls there at a time. I guess they’ll move them into one of the other houses and put them back on the street.”

  Joon looked around at the worried young faces in the room and asked, “When will we know who’s going there?”

  “In the next week or two. Pug is out of town for a while. When he gets back, it’ll probably happen.”

  Joon started to walk away, but Darlene grabbed her arm. “Listen, Pug considers the girls at all of his houses. Then he picks one or two he thinks will make him the most money in the films. Elf was picked because she was so timid and he knew that her fear would be a big turn-on. There are men who will pay a lot of money to watch a young girl suffer.”

  Joon put her hand on Darlene’s shoulder. “I’m going upstairs. I think I’m gonna be sick.” She ran into the bathroom just in time to throw up.

  Hearing the commotion, Tori rushed into the bathroom. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

  Joon wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and laid the side of her face on the toilet seat. In a monotone voice, she said, “No. Pug is sending someone else to the house…the one where Elf is staying. Darlene said that he picks girls that he knows can make him the most money. They picked Elf because she was so shy and…scared, I guess. Anyway, one of us could be next.”

  Tori went down to her knees and threw her arms around Joon. “It won’t be,” she whispered.

  “You can’t know that. I’m a sixteen-year-old white girl and you’re a beautiful fifteen-year-old mixed girl. We’re the kinda girls that men like to see. Why do you think we get so much more business than most of the other girls in this house? I don’t know about you, but it certainly isn’t because I’m good at sex. I fucking hate it. I just lay there and let them do their thing.”

  “Keep your voice down,” Tori scolded. “If any of these bitches hear you say that, they’ll tell Pug just to save their own ass.”

  Joon got up and stood in front of the small sink. She threw cold water on her face, rinsed out her mouth, and turned back to Tori. “I’m going downstairs. Are you coming?”

  Tori followed her down to the kitchen, where the girls stood at the counter and ate a single slice of bread and a banana each, the breakfast each girl was allocated. Pug said it was to keep them thin, but most girls were so young that weight wasn’t an issue.

  When they finished eating, Joon and Tori went back upstairs and laid together on a mattress. They were both silent for a long time. Then Joon rolled onto her side.

  “What if it’s one of us?”

  Tori shook her head slightly. “I don’t know. I don’t think I could survive it.”

  “Me neither,” Joon agreed. Then she put an arm and leg over Tori and the girls held on tight to each other until they drifted into a restless sleep.

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  The next week, Joon was overwhelmed with anxiety. She kept a low profile, did her work, and acted as if nothing bothered her. She didn’t want to bring any attention to herself. Pug had gotten back into town four days after she’d heard the news, and all the girls were stricken with fear.

  One night on the streets, a john approached Joon on foot. She followed him a few blocks over to an open lot still covered in snow. Joon trudged through until they got to a private spot.

  “Let’s go,” the man said, gesturing toward his crotch.

  Joon bent over to unbutton his pants, and when she did, the man punched her in the back of the head. She fell to the ground in a groggy state. The john kicked her in the back. Then he sat on her stomach and beat her in the face with his fists. Joon, half-conscious, believed he would kill her. He punched her until she slipped into unconsciousness. Then he cut her clothes away and raped her. When he was finished, he dressed and slowly walked away, leaving Joon in the bloodstained snow.

  Tori noticed the john come out of the lot and walk in the opposite direction. She waited a few seconds, and when she didn’t see Joon return, she hurried into the lot and found Joon lying facedown in the snow. Tori screamed, and within a few minutes, one of the Slayers was running to them.

  “You have to help her,” Tori cried.

  “What the hell happened?” the guy yelled.

  “A john brought her back here. I think she’s dead,” Tori bawled.

  The Slayer got on his knees, pushing Tori out of the way, and checked for a pulse. “She’s still alive.” He rolled Joon onto her back and pushed away the hair that covered her face. The Slayer gasped as he took a long look at her. Maintaining his composure, he said, “Man, he fucked her up. Which house is she in?”

  Tori rushed alongside the Slayer as he carried Joon back to the house. Angie was the first one in the living room when the Slayer laid Joon on the sofa. He looked up at Angie. “Take care of her. You understand? If she dies, I’ll tell Pug it’s your fault and he’ll kill you.” Then he turned to Tori. “What did this asshole look like?”

  Tori was sobbing. “He was a tall white dude with long hair.”

  “What else?”

  “I don’t know,” Tori shrieked. “He was wearing a long black coat. That’s all I remember.”

  The Slayer gave her a hateful glare and ran out of the house to get one of his fellow gang members to help him look for the man.

  In the living room, Angie turned on the overhead light and looked into Joon’s face. Her eyes and nose were swollen. Blood dripped from the sides of her mouth. Seeing the deep purple bruises on Joon’s bare legs, she lifted the girl’s shirt to find more bruises on her ribs, running down her sides, and creeping over her back. Angie couldn’t seem to find anywhere on Joon’s body that wasn’t marred with bruises.

  When she finished inspecting Joon’s injuries, she looked at Tori. “Help me get her upstairs. I need to clean her up. Then you get your ass back out there before Pug comes back and finds you here.”

  As the two girls carried Joon upstairs, she regained consciousness and grunted with pain. As soon as they got her on her mattress, Angie dismissed Tori.

  Tori obeyed but hesitated at the bedroom door. “Is she gonna be okay?”

  Angie nodded. “She’ll be fine. Just get moving before Pug kills both of us.”

  Over the next five days, at Pug’s direction, Angie cared for Joon, placing ice on her swollen face and bringing her food allotment into the bedroom so she could regain her strength. A day didn’t go by that Pug didn’t go into the bedroom to check Joon’s condition. Not because he was concerned for her well-being, but because he was losing money.

  On the sixth day, he stood over Joon while she was sleeping and kicked the mattress, startling Joon awake. Seeing Pug, she cowered, afraid that he would hurt her.

  “Sit up,” he demanded.

  Joon slowly pushed herself up and looked at Pug.

  “The swelling is down and you can cover up the bruises on your face with makeup. You’ve laid around long enough. Get your ass up, take a shower, and get ready to go out. I have a business to run.”

  Joon got up from the mattress, and as she did, her head spun. She fell to her hands and knees. “I’m dizzy.”

  “I ain’t your fuckin’ daddy. I don’t care if you’re dizzy. Get the hell up and do what I say,” Pug yelled.

  Angie rushed forward, grabbing Joon’s arm to steady her. Then she turned to Pug. “I got this. I’ll take care of it. She’ll be ready to go in thirty minutes.”

  Pug
clamped his fingers on Angie’s chin and shoved his face close to hers. “You better have this, bitch. ’Cause if you don’t, I’ll find someone who can do what I need them to do. You ain’t no good to me if you can’t keep these bitches in line. Got it?”

  Angie nodded and pulled Joon toward the bedroom door. She turned on the shower, then instructed Joon to cover her bruises with makeup. Between the beating and all the painkillers Joon took during her recovery, she was feeling a bit out of body. “Girl, you need to get your shit together,” Angie said, watching the girl sway on her feet. “Pug ain’t playing. Snap out of it.”

  Joon’s eyelids were heavy. “I’m so tired.”

  “Bitch, nobody cares how tired you are. You’re lucky that you got a five-day break. None of us got to stop working,” Angie said.

  Joon looked around the bathroom confused. “Where’s Tori?”

  “She’s ain’t here. All the girls been going out earlier and coming home later to make up for the money you couldn’t earn.”

  “What? They’re all going to hate me,” Joon wailed.

  “No shit. We all been having to pull your share while you were lying around on your back. You owe all of us big time. Better watch you don’t get an ass whooping from one of them—maybe me if you don’t get your ugly ass moving,” Angie said.

  Joon hung her head. “I can’t do this anymore.”

  “I think that fucker beat the sense outta ya too. You ain’t getting outta here, girl. So pull yourself together. I ain’t got no time to put up with your bullshit.”

  Joon rubbed the back of her skull and a thought popped into her mind. “Who’s Pug sending to the house in North Philly?”

  Angie stood abruptly. “That ain’t none of your concern.”

  “Oh God! Is it me?”

  Angie gave Joon a grave look. “What Pug does is none of our business. Your job is to go out and make money…’cause if you don’t, either he’ll kill you, or one of us will.”